A reading from the Obama Scriptures for May 27, 2008.
From The Book of Michelle Chapter 66 Verse 6
The fish sticks of Change and the wonder loaves of Hope.
And so Obama went to the land of the Palmetto with Oprah the Baptist.
The large crowd gathered for to hear the free concert and eat the fish sticks of Change and the Wonder loaves of Hope.
Obama spoketh as they do in southern twangeth to help the gathered Southern speakers to understand.
The Lord sayeth: "You can choose to love and obey me or choose to be called a racist across the land in divers places, such as MSNBC and the Whole Foods Produce Section! These are your choices! I am the Lord! Obey me or there will be no Latte!"
Then the Lord danceth badly for a moment in order that the People of the Cracker in the audience felt the Lord knew them, too. For Lord Obama loveth all his sheep.
First things first. There is a man out there (hardly a gentleman)who has been writing me since last week asking if he can grab MY bags. To quote the immortal words of Senator Ted Stevens
"NO!"
Isn't Ted a charmer?
Now that that is off my chest on to business:
Darlings, I am so glad L.R. is proving to be a refuge for Real Democrats. I am afraid we may be tasked with heaving the Barackarazzi overboard when this election is over. The Arugulas are so annoying. They just don't understand real Democrats. Now we are being called Jacksonian Democrats. Hmmm? Is this for Michael Jackson? Action Jackson? Of that darling who splattered all the paint on the floor? Another good thing about this election: I am over Oprah for good. Bye. Bye. What a relief! She was getting tiresome anyway. Glad she showed her true colors.
For any of you dears who eat: there is a problem with the foods.
Are you Lonely? Confused? Lost and all alone? Pathetic? Needy? Overbearing? Trapped between your dishonest self image and your brittle, yet still fat, ego? You need advice. Send me any questions or concerns you may have. Post them in the comments. I answer on Thursdays with love, compassion, and a hatchet. Darlings.