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Tuesday, May 27, 2008

A reading from the Obama Scriptures for May 27, 2008.

A reading from the Obama Scriptures for May 27, 2008.

From The Book of Michelle
Chapter 66
Verse 6


The fish sticks of Change and the wonder loaves of Hope.

And so Obama went to the land of the Palmetto with Oprah the Baptist.

The large crowd gathered for to hear the free concert and eat the fish sticks of Change and the Wonder loaves of Hope.

Obama spoketh as they do in southern twangeth to help the gathered Southern speakers to understand.

The Lord sayeth:
"You can choose to love and obey me or choose to be called a racist across the land in divers places, such as MSNBC and the Whole Foods Produce Section! These are your choices! I am the Lord! Obey me or there will be no Latte!"

Then the Lord danceth badly for a moment in order that the People of the Cracker in the audience felt the Lord knew them, too. For Lord Obama loveth all his sheep.

Then the Lord left the stageth for a smoke.



This is the word of the Lord.

Amen.

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Thursday, April 17, 2008

HE's a CHANGE AGENT!!!! LEAVE him ALONE! He hasn't insulted middle America in days! Leave Barry Alone!

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Coconut Lady's Grab Bag: 4/9/08


First things first. There is a man out there (hardly a gentleman)who has been writing me since last week asking if he can grab MY bags. To quote the immortal words of Senator Ted Stevens

"NO!"

Isn't Ted a charmer?

Now that that is off my chest on to business:

Darlings, I am so glad L.R. is proving to be a refuge for Real Democrats. I am afraid we may be tasked with heaving the Barackarazzi overboard when this election is over. The Arugulas are so annoying. They just don't understand real Democrats. Now we are being called Jacksonian Democrats. Hmmm? Is this for Michael Jackson? Action Jackson? Of that darling who splattered all the paint on the floor?

Another good thing about this election: I am over Oprah for good. Bye. Bye. What a relief! She was getting tiresome anyway. Glad she showed her true colors.

Olbermann just keeps getting sadder and more pathetic. Ah, well, we had one good year, Pumpkin Face.

For any of you dears who eat: there is a problem with the foods.

Are you Lonely? Confused? Lost and all alone? Pathetic? Needy? Overbearing? Trapped between your dishonest self image and your brittle, yet still fat, ego? You need advice. Send me any questions or concerns you may have. Post them in the comments. I answer on Thursdays with love, compassion, and a hatchet. Darlings.

One good thing about oil depletion. Vegas is gonna be history.
Coconut Lady hates Vegas.

When did Matt Stone get so very sexy?
Note to self: Invite Matt Stone over for some Coconut Chocolate Cherry Balls.

On a similar note: is it too late to take up bull riding?

Coming soon: The best movie you've never heard of.

Isn't Hillary the best? An adult at the wheel.

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Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Does anyone know if Oprah goes to Rev. Wright's racist church?

Does anyone know if Oprah goes to Rev. Wright's racist church?

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